The conquer of a Macbook

Long ago, there was a IBM T43p.  She is very smart, and does things quite reliably, but she cannot do too many things at once, and she does not look very pretty, so her owner trade her in for a Macbook Pro.  The Macbook Pro was indeed very shiny, and she can run things much faster in parallels.  The owner was happy, and he learned quite a bit about the Macbook Pro.  It was a lovely journey, and they both had a lot of fun, but the owner was a greedy one, he started seeing this petite one when the Macbook Pro stayed home.  The petite was the Lenovo X60, who was in no match with the Macbook Pro when comparing their beauty.  However, X60 is just much lighter and smaller, she was loaded with a very open-sourced mind: Linux.  The combination of these three seems to play a very exotic role in the owner’s mind.  He became obsessed with X60’s quality and they were seemed to be together in a lot of events and circumstances.  The relationship lasted again for quite some time, until the Owner is again tired of it.  Apparently, the owner thought that the X60’s open-source mind was not yet matured enough for him.  He recognized that he wanted somebody who can be ready to work with him whenever he feels like, and stop and sleep whenever he does not need her.  X60 couldn’t do it well enough; whenever he needs her, she was a little slow on getting ready, and whenever he wants her to go to sleep, she sometimes became restless.  Finally the owner made up his mind, he started to see this hot one called Macbook.  She is the beauty with the combination of a Macbook Pro and the X60.  She had both the shininess and the  lightness. And when the owner needs her, she could be there in a short delay.  She may have a slightly closed mind than the X60, but they are very similar in terms of thoughts.  Therefore, the owner and the Macbook lives happily ever after… so far. 🙂

Letter from a Pet Owner

A friend forward this to me, and I found it pretty funny:

Dear Dogs and Cats,

When I say to move, it means to go someplace else, not to switch positions with each other so there are still two of you in the way.

The dishes with the paw print are yours and contain your food. The other dishes are mine and contain my food. Please note, placing a paw print in the middle of my plate and food does not stake a claim for it becoming your food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest.

 The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack. Beating me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn’t help because I fall faster than you can run.

I cannot buy anything bigger than a king sized bed. I am very sorry about this. Do not think I will continue sleeping on the couch to  ensure your comfort. Dogs and cats actually curl up in a ball when they sleep. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other  stretched out to the fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out the other end to maximize space is nothing but sarcasm.

For the last time, there is not a secret exit from the bathroom. If by some miracle I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not necessary to claw, whine, meow, and try to turn the knob or get your paw under the edge and try to pull the door open. I must exit through the same door I entered. Also, I have been using the bathroom for years–canine or feline attendance is not mandatory.

The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat’s butt. I cannot stress this enough!

 To pacify you, my dear pets, I have posted the following message on our front door:

 Rules for Non-Pet Owners Who Visit and Like to Complain About Our Pets:

1.       They live here. You don’t.

2.       If you don’t want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture. (That’s why they call it “fur”niture.)

3.       I like my pets a lot better than most people.

4.       To you, it’s an animal. To me, he/she is an adopted son/daughter  who is short, hairy, walks on all fours and doesn’t speak clearly.

 Top 10 Reasons Why Dogs and Cats Are Better Than Kids:

10. They eat less

 9. Don’t ask for money all the time
8. Are easier to train

 7. Usually come when called

 6. Never drive your car

 5. Don’t hang out with drug-using friends

 4. Don’t smoke or drink

 3. Don’t wear your clothes

 2. Don’t need a gazillion dollars for college

 AND THE NO. 1 REASON DOGS/CATS ARE BETTER THAN KIDS:

 If they get pregnant, you can sell the children